So lately I've been meeting a lot of women who are feeling SO frustrated with online dating that they're threatening to quit dating all together.
“I just need to get offline —this is ridiculous!!”
“I hate online dating — everyone misrepresents themselves! It’s all a facade!"
“It’s pointless and full of losers. This just isn’t working out for me.”
“I need to just accept that I’m going to die alone!”
Okay, while I TOTALLY understand feeling this way …...I want to take a moment and explore the stories we’re attaching to our disappointments with online dating..... andpausefor a moment and look a little deeper.
What I’m noticing is happening is that as soon as people have a few disappointing experiences in the online dating world -- they immediately want to run, hide, and escape the scene as soon as possible. It’s like there’s some underlying belief that if they stop dating and get offline — that they can somehow avoid the disappointments, frustrations and pains associated with love and finding a partner. (Oh….wouldn’t that be nice?!)
But umm, yeah .….no such luck.
There’s simply no avoiding feelings of disappointment, frustration, or pain in life. No matter how many dating sites you get off of! ;-)
While we can’t escape these feelings —we can control the story we create around them and the power we give to them.
When you want to quit online dating— there’s usually a story you’re attaching to it.
Online dating is hard and will continue to be hard.
Online dating will never work out for me.
There are no great guys online.
The only way to avoid being hurt is to be alone.
(insert you’re fabulous, reasonable, but probably inaccurate story here) :)
The truth is — online dating is a mixed bag of everything. As is life.
You’re going to meet men you don’t like.
Men you like — who don’t like you back.
Men who love you — who you just don’t feel it for.
Men that confuse you — who you’re not sure you really feel it for.
AND …..you might just meet someone that you completely